Ectopic Rupture

I really want to be a consistent blogger, and this last year has really made it difficult.

I wrote that I had been feeling pretty rotten for some time and that I was going to work on a diet to see if eliminating things from my diet was the solution and if they would help me feel better.

When after several weeks, I failed to see any improvements, I began reaching out to my doctors. They all concluded that I was pregnant but since the only sign of pregnancy I had was some odd nausea that was nothing like with my first pregnancy (I was still having my cycle), I brushed it off and thought nothing more of it.

Little did I know, they were right.

But even if I had taken a test and discovered I was pregnant, I wouldn't gotten an ultrasound until I was out of the first trimester and I wouldn't have discovered that my pregnancy was ectopic.

I landed in the ER on July 1, 2015, after 4 hours of excruciating abdominal pain. I was vomiting, pale white, cold to the touch, and my blood pressure was very, very low.

The staff at our local hospital knew right away something was wrong and the lead nurse immediately suspected an ectopic pregnancy. They weren't messing around as they immediately took me to triage and began running test. They determined I was pregnant through a blood test and spent an hour trying to convince the ultrasound department that my case took presidency over anything they were doing and that they had already had to enlist rapid response (basically 7-9 people stood around in my room just in case I had passed out) on me because my blood pressure was going down so they were convinced I was really close to needing life saving action.

Finally, they got the traveling ultrasound tech to come and examine me. She was happy and chatting with my husband about how clear the pictures were when he was convinced that there was nothing clear about it. I watched her face go from lighthearted to very, very serious. The whole room got quiet. She printed pictures and would not answer my questions about whether she had found something. She left the ultrasound machine there in the room, took the pictures and rushed to the doctor.

He came in less than 5 minutes later saying that he and the obstetrician on call both are in agreeance that I had an ectopic pregnancy and that there is a good likelihood that I had ruptures and was bleeding internally.

The point was that the pain was so bad that I just wanted to go home and lay in bed. My husband, Zack, reassured me that everything was ok and that we were in God's hands.

They immediately rolled me out of triage and took me to prepare for surgery. The obstetrician was very warm and very urgent. She told me that she thought I had ruptured, that I was bleeding internally, and that I would probably need blood transfusions. Zack signed the necessary paperwork because at this point, the pain was so severe I couldn't respond to any questioning other than "yes or no," let alone read any paperwork.

Even though I had no idea if I was going to be okay, I had a peace that surpassed all understanding and knew the Holy Spirit was there in the room with the doctors. I didn't know if the peace meant I was going to be okay or that I was about to enter into eternity, but I confessed any unconfessed sins and then was given a sedative where I didn't remember anything after that.

My poor Zack was rushed away as I apparently stopped breathing and he overheard them telling me, “Emily, you need to breathe. Breathe for us.” But Zack said he had peace that I was in good hands and that reliving the ordeal was more scary than it actually happening.

I know that I was stabilized and that required immediate intubation to assist me in breathing because I read the surgical reports. I was put under and surgery performed.

After surgery, which should have been a 15 minute procedure but ended up being a full hour because I had such massive blood loss that my entire abdominal cavity was full of it and needed to be suctioned out, Zack was immediately brought to me and encouraged to talk to me as they woke me up. Apparently it's normal after bringing people out of anesthesia for them to ask the most ridiculous questions or to repeat themselves, to which I did both.

My obstetrician/ surgeon was right about everything and I needed 2 pints of blood to get my hemoglobin (oxygen level in the blood) up. I had lost about 4 pints of blood and told it would take about 6 weeks for my body to make the blood back.

I spent the night in the ER and was allowed to go home at around 3 in the afternoon the next day.

I sit back and just find myself unbelievably grateful that God didn't decide to take me home that night.  I can't put into words how blessed we are to be a family of almost 4 and that I get to continue to be my children's mommy.  What a blessing, what a Good, Good Father God of the Heavens and Earth is! 

Five Ways to Prepare Your Toddler for a New Baby

Surprise, we're pregnant! We're due in just over 3 weeks and we're super, duper excited to be adding a precious little baby to the family!

I have been talking to my mom and aunt about some ways to help your toddler adjust to the first few weeks of of new baby that aren't difficult or tedious or so much work that I won't bother doing them when I am in recovering from labor.

For me, I have to have a second c-section, so I will have to recover from major surgery all while caring for a newborn and a toddler… I know, I am the first woman to ever have to contend with such a thing. Pity me.

I am the youngest of 3 children, so I have never had to deal with the insecurities and uncertainties of becoming a big sister. My brother and I are only 17 months apart but he remembers me coming home from the hospital very well. And my sister remembers both of us coming home. I am certain that at nearly 3, this will be something that Janni remembers really well and I want it to be a happy, joyful, and happy memory for her.

Knowing my daughter's (and probably most children as well) primary love languages are physical touch and gifts, I have made sure to keep these in mind when coming up with these 5 ways to help her adjust to the new baby.

A gift from baby/a from her: When Janni comes to meet her sibling for the first time in the hospital, I will make sure that we have a special gift for her that is “from the baby”. We plan on writing a card from the baby. Janni will also be allowed to pick out a special, baby appropriate gift for baby that she will be allowed to give to the baby when then meet. This will help her feel like even though a new baby is now part of our family, that she is still included and important.

Keeping to the routine: This, obviously, may need to be worked up to slowly. Recovering from labor and delivery isn't a walk in the park. But book reading, special coloring books, and continuing with school work will help with the adjustment period because although there is a new baby in the family, her life is continuing in many ways as normal and comfortable.

Allow Toddler to Be Around Baby: When I brought Janni home from the hospital, I wanted to avoid and all things that would cause her harm or germs. When her then 2 year old cousin asked to hold her, I bit my lip and prayed her didn't kill her. Not even kidding. Anything and everything was an immediate danger to her life in my mind and nothing you could say those first 6 weeks would have changed my mind. This time, bring home a baby with a 3 year old sister, keeping her away would be hurtful and impossible. Allowing her to hold, cuddle, kiss, and love on baby while encouraging gentleness will be crucial to help her feel comfortable around the baby. The last thing we want to do is make baby off limits and cause her to grow resentment towards the baby.

One on One Time With Each Parent: Janni is used to having us to herself. She's never had to share us and when I have held another baby, she really seems a bit jealous. I am keeping in mind that those feelings about me holding a baby that isn't ours may be completely non-existent with out own baby and we may have no issues with it at all but we still want her to feel loved and valued and to look forward to time where she has each of us to herself.

Allow Toddler to “Help” with Baby: It's really hard to be in a situation where you feel absolutely, completely useless. I'm sure toddlers feel the same way. By allowing them access to things like diapers, wipes, burp clothes, and the alike, they are likely to jump on the idea of being mommy's special helper when asked to get them. By allowing them to be mommy's big helper, the useless feelings are not there and they are able to feel proud of themselves for being able to help with the new baby.