Ten of My Pet-Peeves

I'm not at all a pessimistic person.  I like to consider myself a realist with a dash of optimism.

That realist part of me really got me into trouble when I was a kid (I typically would say what was on my mind, and before I had a chance to think it through... poof... damage done.). Damage control gear on. Lots of awkward moments.

I never did it to be mean or hurtful.  I just really thought that people wanted to know the truth.  "Tell me how you really feel, Emily."

Luckily,  I've developed a filter and always make sure to think before I speak.

All this to lead into a list of the top 10 pet-peeves of mine, because I'm kind of feeling like being honest today.  So brace yourself!

1.  Dishes. Our rental doesn't have a dishwasher, so I rebel at liking doing dishes by hand.  If I had the luxury of a dishwasher,  I'm sure this would quickly change my perspective.

2. Messy cars.  Not that my car is always immaculate.  I have a 2 year old and it can get messy, but it stresses me out so much that I don't even want to get into the car.

3. Fashion jeans with holes in them.  I know that these kinds of pants and shorts are extremely popular right now, but oh, are they unappealing to me.  Mark my words, I will never intentionally own a pair!  Also know, if you own a pair and wear them, you actually look wonderful.  I've never actually seen a blogger who looks terrible wearing them. 

4. My daughter wasting food.  I've always had this feeling of urgency that if I didn't feed my child a million things, she would starve!  I would offer her a bazillion things at meals and she would waste over half of it.  I backed off stuffing her silly, but she still somehow manages to waste a pretty impressive amount of food.  Oh, and I've tried to insist she takes bites, but once this girl decides she done, she gags.  Genius.

5. My toenails not being painted.  I had an unreal amount of ingrown toenails over my college career.  So unreal that my doctor got tired of seeing me and removing the culprit (it was almost always the right big toe) that she sent me to a podiatrist (foot specialist) and asked him to service my toe.  It broke his heart that my record showed that record had over 5 removals.  He fixed it by cutting only the sides out (all under topical Novocaine) and shoving a chemical into the exposed root to kill the growth and prohibit the ingrown toenails.  Now my right toenail is a stubby and so odd looking that the only way I can really cope is to have a fresh coat of polish.

6. The same kids song on repeat.  Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?  Animal Crackers in My Soup?  E-I-E-I-O?  Enough said.

7. Stains on new (or old) clothes.  Not mine, of course sometimes I do get a little messy, but I'm more concerned about Janni's new clothes. I had all these hopes of saving girl clothes for if we ever had another little girl.  Justine likes to live on the wild side and throw her bib off in the middle of meals and stain galore!  But then even if I attempt to get those stains out immediately, not all of them come out.  I've cried about and thrown out more clothes than I care to remember.

8. My bed unmade.  It is actually physically impossible for me to clean the rest of the house if my bed is not made.  I wouldn't consider myself O.C.D. but boy, in this area, I am certain that trying to clean without my bed made gives me a pretty good idea what it must feel/be like.  I am unable to focus, I stress out, and semi-hyperventalate.  And then I stop everything, make the bed, all is right in the world again.  Another walk on the wild side.

9.  Incomplete tasks.  I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does.  Call me a pain, call me a goof.

10.

Big Brother, Big Sister

For the past several years,  our church has been very vocal and proactive about God's heart for adoption.

In these past years, several families from our church have adopted and fostered children.

Zack and I do desire to adopt one day, but right now,  we have a pretty large sum of student loans to pay off.  In order to do so, we've chosen to live in a tiny 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment.  It's not impressive, but the rent is cheap and we have a dog for our daughter and an Arizona rock backyard.  It works for us and we're happy to sacrifice a nicer home for the freedom from!

And yet, our hearts still feel that desire to do something for at-risk youth in our society.  We've decided that although we are not in a season where we can adopt, we can be positive role-models to a child who may not have been born into the best living circumstances. The best program to do so in our city is Big Brother, Big Sister.

You typically just hear of one-on-one Big Brother (or Sister) and Little Brother (or Sister) matches, but what's really neat for us is that they also have couple/family matches in which an attached family, together, are matched with a Little Brother  (I'm sure you get it,  but just to be clear as glass and to selfishly appease my imaginary OCD, 'Sister').

We get to meet ours next week, and we're so excited!  Ours is a Little Brother

Three Months

I lay still in bed, the darkness of the house lingers.  It's 4:30 in the morning.  As I try to make sense of my alertness at such an hour, I'm met with an uneasiness. I begin to quietly hyperventilate, my heart pounding so hard that I'm certain to wake up Zack, who's sleeping soundly right next to me.  Remembering the steps to calm yourself down when on the verge of panick (thank you, Psychology 101), I begin taking deep breaths and releasing them to the count of 8.

There, that's it.  Everything is going to be okay.  My heart slows down to a purr, my breathing to a soft hum, and I close my eyes,  hoping that magically I'd fall back asleep.  Nothing.  "Might as well do it now, " I think to myself.   I lay glued to my bed,  unable to move.  The voice of reason and the voice of wishful thinking battle inside my brain.

After a bittersweet game of "just do it and no," the voice of reason wins the battle, but takes no bow.  This is not the triumphant win that a bow would be acceptable.  I peel myself out of bed and walk out of my bedroom, quietly closing the door behind me,  and into the bathroom.

I turn on the light, and briefly stand in shock, as my well-adjusted to the dark eyes are interrupted by said light.  The stinging pain feels as though a lightning bolt struck them dead center, "we really need a dimmer in here," I say, while half-blindedly reaching under the sink cabinet.  I pull out a rectangular box that I had hidden in the back of my beauty supply box (hair dryer, makeup, soft rollers... things Zack would have no reason to need access to,  thus preventing an accidental discovery of the secret box), and softly place it on the counter.  My heart begins to pound, and my knees begin to shake.  I once again start the calming routine and brace myself for the endeavor.

I manage to get control of myself and slowly and quietly open the box.  I hush myself, but am sure the sound of the box being opened is deafening to all the people who live here and I'm sure I've woken Zack up.  I close the door and lock it just in case.  "He'll just think I'm going to the bathroom," I assure myself, and proceed on my mission.

I then quietly open the wrapper and pull out the long,  white and pink stick. I take a deep breath.  "Just do it, " I pep-talk myself. I sit down and follow the steps of the test,  replace the cap and place it on the counter.

Five. Agonizing. Minutes.  I don't allow myself to look early.  Wishful thinking wins this battle. I distract myself while looking at Facebook and Instagram, and continually praying for a favorable result, being sure to look at the time every 30 seconds.

After what felt like an eternity,  I slowly walk over to the white and pink stick. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.  This is it.  I open my eyes and quietly cry.  I sink to the floor and sit quietly for sometime, processing my fears bevoking reality.

I hide the evidence in the kitchen trash, slowly make my way back to the room,  quietly open the door and lie back down next to Zack, who is still peacefully snoring.

One pink line,  3 months no baby.  "Maybe next month," I think to myself and quietly fade back to sleep.

Third Year Anniversary Trip: SeaLife Aquarium

April 7, Zack and I celebrated 3 years of marriage.  In the spirit of celebration, we decided to take a trip down to the SeaLife Aquarium in Tempe, AZ.  It was a hit!  Zack actually had to work the day of our actual anniversary, but the very next day, we packed ourselves up and left early for Phoenix.  We arrived there at 1 (we are serious early birds over here (I was actually a bit annoyed that we were so late and really wanted to be there by 10, but we're not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump away from being early birds.  Wallaces are almost always late.) 

BUT this place was a hit, early arrivers or not!  We saw giant fish, jelly fish, turtles, sharks, large lobsters, and some scary fish (that I have no idea what the name was), to name a few.  We also saw pretend dinosaur bone in one the the exhibits and Zack and I tried for the longest time to figure out the name of the critter it was suppose to represent.

Janni was so enamored and glued to all of the fish tanks and scenery, that it was nearly impossible to get her to look at the camera to take a picture.

Arizona isn't exactly next door to the sea (well, technically we are, but it's still a minimum 6 hour drive), so it doesn't contain seals, penguins, or any sea mammals that other aquariums right next to the sea would contain.  But Janni still loved it and had such a good time that she was super sad when we had to leave.  She was especially fond of the soft play area and had fun going down the slide over and over again.

The aquarium is actually located at a mall, so when we were done, we went to the food court and had lunch (we live in a small town, so our mall food area consists of a Subway, Dairy Queen, a closed down coffee shop, a cupcake joint, and a very dodgy Chinese restaurant, so the fact that this mall had about 30 different places to choose from was a real treat).  Zack and I both chose a taco joint and Janni went with her traditional pizza and we all were happy (the food wasn't picture worthy, so there were no pictures of the food).  We decided to walk around the mall to work off our lunch and see if there was any wedding anniversary gifts that we just had to have.  Luckily for our pocket book, nothing suited our fancy and we decided that we would buy frozen yogurt.  Always an excellent choice.

The aquarium was so much fun, and Janni had enjoyed it so much, that we decided to go through it again before heading home, since it was an all-day admission! 

 Yep, no idea what this fish is called, but it is the stuff nightmares are made of!

Janni still had a hard time, this time around, paying attention and being patient enough to take decent photos to show her joy, but reset assured, she had a blast!

We have been to several really nice aquariums during vacations to California, and so I was a little unsure about whether or not it spoiled us for aquariums and would find this one disappointing!  But I was delighted when I found that I wasn't disappointed at all!  Maybe it partly had something to do with Janni really enjoying it so much, but not entirely.  This aquarium was neat, interesting, and some of the larger tanks just floored me at how beautiful they were!  I definitely would suggest it to other people! 

Good Friday: Counting My Blessings

I was recently talking to a friend about my dreams and hopes for the future.

Some of these dreams include: having more children, paying off debt, purchasing a home, and being able to actively bring in income without greatly sacrificing my child(ren).

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, a book called "A Thousand Blessings" came up.  It is a religious book about a woman who found faith early on in life.  She married and had children and live a relatively happy life.  But she began to sink into depression and despair over her life when she began comparing it to other.  One day, she daily began listing every single blessing in her life, rather than counting the blessings of her friends'.  She slowly came out of depression and realized that she had so many blessings that she could hardly comprehend them.

Seeing that today is Good Friday, the day that Jesus was whipped, beaten, and hung on the cross to pay a debt He didn't owe, so that we can be free from the bondage of sin and dwell with Him and the Father for eternity, I thought I would name the top 5 of my blessings (because I don't want to bore you, I can name 1000! No kidding!).

The list includes (but truly isn't limited to):

1. My Salvation. I know that when I die, I will not spend eternity in Hell.  Deep, I know, but I am ever so grateful.
2. My Husband. I am so blessed to get to love and care for the kindest, sweetest, Godliest man I have ever know
3. My Daughter. This months marks the 2nd year I have been allowed to love and cherish my sweet Janni.  She is a joy, a delight, so smart, and so adored!
4. My Home. I am so blessed to be able to stay home and be a mother and homemaker to my family!  I often take it for granted, but it is truly a huge blessing!
5. My Family. Mine and Zack's are such a blessing.  How I truly love getting to spend time with them and I am so excited that for Janni's birthday, I will get to spend time with both sides at the same time!

What are some of the blessings in your life you take for granted?  What are the blessings in your life you don't take for granted?  I would love to hear!

Partners in Crime Edition 3: Jail Rockers

A few weeks ago, I was busy cleaning the house and Janni and Frodo (our year and a half ChiPoo) were off in the kitchen, exploring for hidden treasure (Frodo's treasure being food droppings from lunch).  I guess the locals must have had very little tolerance for a toddler and a mutt stealing their beloved treasure, because I found them both in jail!
 

"Let us out!" Janni cried!

"Janni, be quiet! We don't want them to see us as more nuisances than we already are!" Responded Frodo in a hushed and uncertain voice.

"Janni, my girl, would you please stop pulling my fur, it is rather uncomfortable.  Please, Janni, it hurts!!" Grunted Frodo, really wanting to turn around and give her a warning nip (but knowing the consequences from Janni's Mommy would mean sitting in timeout).

"Let us OUT! PLEASE, LET US OUT!" Frodo hollered, throwing all reason out the window and knowing he just made a huge mistake (but not caring, because it really did hurt to have your fur pulled!).  

*NIP!*  Frodo gave in to the inevitable, "Off to timeout I go," he grunted once more.

Disclaimer: Janni and Frodo both chose to climb into the kennel together.  Nobody was forced, excepted when Frodo left on his own will and Janni threw a tantrum, demanding he came back in! And Frodo was really just licking Janni in an effort to make her stop pulling his fur.  He truly is a kind, tolerant, and kid friendly dog.

The Precious No Nap Wednesday

Today I babysat for a lady down the way.  She's an ER nurse and works nights 3 times a week and needs somebody to come and watch her 2 children so she can sleep while her husband is at work.

Well, Janni typically refuses to take a nap anywhere but in her crib (I'm honestly in no big hurry to move her to a big girl bed, nearly 2 and all) and since we arrived there at 9 am and wouldn't be leaving until well after nap time, I knew she would be difficult at the end of the day.  She usually does great until we get home around 4:15 and I have to begin preparing dinner.

Tonight was no exception.

Janni has been the epitome of a sticky finger (you know, those hands attached to a string that you can buy from quarter machines in the grocery store and are made of some sticky rubbery content). She will cling to me and slowly let go, only to quickly realize she is no longer holding tight to me and I may somehow get away, so, full-on running, she SLAPS onto me, only to repeat the process again, doing this all while crying or whining, which if you're anything like me, makes the thought process a distant memory and getting things done nearly impossible.  And I am torn from feeling compassion that she is wayyy exhausted and it's mostly my fault and super frustrated because our family needs to eat!

I know, my life is so awful!  I have a healthy, affectionate, kind, smart, little girl who loves her mommy (even more when tired)! I put Janni down for bed a full 45 minutes early and she went down with barely a fuss! 

But rest assure, our family did eat before she went to bed because Zack showed up and made everything better and I ended up changing into my comfy pants because jeans and overeating go together like a polka-dots and stripes (okay, maybe somebody has figured out how to make it a good combo, but you get my point).  So don't feel too bad for us, Momma Bear, Papa Bear, and Baby Bear are all well fed!

While Janni sleeps, whether she has been either sweet or difficult, I often look at pictures of her to either reaffirm how precious she is or to reaffirm that no matter how difficult the day may be, she is still that same precious girl that I find her to be when she is sweet and agreeable!  This picture was taken after we had gone swimming and she truly did not want to get back in the car to go home for a nap.  And yet, even with the sun glaring in her eyes and a tantrum central, she is oh so very precious and I am so blessed that I get to be her Mommy!

What are a few things that remind you how precious your children are (even when they aren't acting particularly precious!)?