Friday, October 28, 2016

A Child That (Sometimes) Won't Pose For Pictures

When Janni was a young baby, it was the absolute hardest thing to get her to pose for pictures.

When I took her to get her one year photos done, the photographer told me that she was one of the hardest babies she'd worked with because she refused to smile for the camera.

Although the photographer managed to get some absolutely delightfully adorable pictures of Janni at 1 year, it was not without some experienced tricks of the trade!




Janni is not at all ADD/ADHD, she simply did not care. She's definitely one of those children who simply doesn't like to be told what to do. "Janni, smile?" Nope. Not happening, Ring Master!


And I've had to learn not to force her to do (most) things, but to let her choose to participate (if she's running in the street, I most definitely force her to get out of it, via grabbing her hand or picking her up if I must and the like). Unfortunately, this probably took us around two years to figure this out, because we're pure geniuses over here, haha! But we no longer force her to to do things. There may be consequences for not doing things, like not sharing may result in nobody gets to play with her toy and we discuss what selfishness is, use a Bible verse work on her heart, and then have her sit in her room and think about her behavior.

The result? It's working wonderfully!! When Janni decides she wants to do something, like share that toy with her friend, it's from the heart and it's real, meaningful thoughtfulness... Not just lip service to prevent getting into trouble or to appease her parents.  Or, if she wants to pose for the camera, they are sweet, happy, not forced smiles and they just make my heart beam with joy that she is my girl!






I think it's been so helpful because as adults, we don't appreciate, nor do we stand to be forced to act outside our own free will. So, why would be think children would appreciate it either?

This parenting thing is hard, and I don't believe that I have it all figured out by any means but I'm grateful to be learning things that are helpful in building my relationship up with my children, like hiding to eat my treat when I don't want to share (haha!) and not forcing my child to begrudgingly pose for a picture... Even if that means my plan for a post about our visit to the Pumpkin Patch yesterday just isn't going to work out!





We had fun on the hayride and in the corn maze any way!  And even though I didn't get any great pictures, she sure is cute, regardless!



Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Difficult Days...

Sometimes, when your days are stressful and you're trying to keep your fussy baby calm, you take a trip to Target... And one of your children does something so darling, you forget about how stressed you are and laugh yourself silly. Then, you realize just how much you needed to focus your energy away from the difficult and onto the happy... And just laugh!!

Janni, you're such a trooper! I'm so proud of you and your joy through all the changes in your life with your brother!

I'm so happy that you're mine!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Update On My Mother-In-Law

My mother-in-law, Cheryl, got diagnosed with stage 4 oral cancer in October 2014.  She endured 1.5 rounds of induction  chemotherapy before her organs started going into failure mode and she needed to stop.


She ended up passing away in October 2015, just one short year after being diagnosed.  She fought a difficult, hard fight and we were so inspired by her the entire time.


It's been hardest on Zack's sister. But we've all felt the weight of Cheryl's passing.

It's so odd to think that I literally only had a mother-in-law for 3.5 years. I always thought that my kids would be going over to her house for cookies and grandma fun time well into their teens. It's funny how God orchastrates and directs our lives.



It's so evident and tangible how precious families are and how crucial it is to maintain good, healthy relationships with our family. Before Cheryl got diagnosed with cancer, I'll admit we had minor problems here and there. But her diagnosis changed everything. We repented and moved forward with support for each other during these hard times.



I've learned through this not to harbor anger and frustration. To humble yourself and seek forgiveness when wrong. To overlook minor offenses and immediately go to them for major offenses and to offer mercy... Oh, how we all need mercy in our relationships!

So, if I can leave you anything to take away from this semi-depressing post, make the relationships with family and closer friends a priority. Do what's in your own ability to be at peace with them and cherish the days that you have with them!



"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."- [Romans 12:18]

We miss you, Cheryl.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Baby Tru's Birth Story

Oh, Baby Tru!  You were a looong time coming (here) and right before you were given to us, we faced a medical emergency and tragedy (here).  First trimester bleeding (twice) led all of the O.B.s in Mommy's doctor's offce to believe I wouldn't actually give birth to you.  And when I made it to the third trimester with you solidly still in my womb, Mommy's O.B. even gave me a huge hug in excitement that I would likely not have a premature baby.

You are not an easy baby by any means, and as I type this, I have actually been in your room tonight to sooth your screaming self, not once but twice!  But you are our baby, our rainbow after a terrifying storm.  This is your birth story!

I got pregnant immediately after my tubal/ectopic pregnancy/rupture/emergency surgery/life-threatening blood loss.  Like immediately meaning my very next ovulation.  My pregnancy was faced with first and early second trimester bleeding, monitoring a low lying placenta to ensure that it didn't turn into placenta previa, low blood sugar (I had had 2 blood transfusions in July and that may have attributed to it) and so constantly needing to eat or I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out (I gained more with this baby than I care to admit), kidney stones, chronic dizziness that eventually led to a terrifying fall and 4 hour hospital stay and L&D, the baby was breech since 14 weeks and that led to terrible heartburn (he actually turned into position at 37 weeks but more about that later), and eventually just overall feeling like my body was giving up on me and didn't have the strength to carry on with life.  It was hard.  I mean REALLY hard!

So you can imagine my great relief when visiting an O.B. to find a doctor that would allow me to deliver vbac (Janni was an emergency csection (here)) down in Phoenix, I was told I would more than likely need another csection.  I admit that, at first, I was eager to try a vbac, but after the 2 hour drive home back to Northern Arizona, I felt relief and peace at the idea of just scheduling another csection in our city.

I spoke to Zack about it and at first, he was really against the idea.  Eventually, after some thoughts and considering my reasoning (mainly 2 things: 1. I wouldn't have to travel down to Phoenix and possibly be in hard labor and 2. we wouldn't have to drive down to Phoenix, in labor, and possibly need a csection and then have to travel 2 hours home just days after having major abdominal surgery).  We scheduled my csection when it was time.

April 21, 2016 at 6:30 a.m. was when we were to arrive at the hospital. Luckily, at that time of year it was already light by sometime in the 5 o'clock hour and we were both so excited to finally meet our son that it wasn't even hard getting up at 4:45 to shower and get ready for newborn baby pictures!

I got up first, showered, did my makeup and hair, made sure (for the hundredth time) that I had everything I would possibly need, and tidied up the house. I sure had more energy than I had had then entire last week together!  Zack got ready along side me.

I sat down on the floor to put my tennis shoes on (I'd fallen while wearing sandals and although I knew for certain that I was dizzy when I fell, I couldn't rule out that the sandals didn't attribute to the fall and that's why I wore tennis shoes 9 months pregnant) and I felt like I peed my pants.  I laughed and went to the bathroom to change my under garments when I gasped! I was certain I hadn't peed my pants! My water had broke!  Ahhhh! I yelled to Zack to come see and we laughed!  This baby was coming today all along!!

We waited for my Aunt, my Mom's closest sister who lives 15 minutes away from me, to come and watch Janni.  My Mom was, unfortunately, very ill that week and for the health of my baby, would not be able to come up from Phoenix and help me with this baby until she was well.  But my Aunt came and took care of Janni while we were at the hospital and it was very comforting to know she was in good hands while Zack and I were away.

She arrived, we laughed that my water broke, we all prayed over the surgery, recovery, and both baby and my health, and off we went.

I shot a group text to all my sister-in-laws that my water broke while getting ready to go to the hospital and everybody thought it was hilarious!

When we arrived at the hospital, hard contractions hit.  We were still in the parking lot when I had to stop and work through one.  We made it to the L&D sign-in and took care of some final paperwork. We were led to the room where I would be staying and began to get ready. 

I informed the nurse that my water broke.  My O.B. came strolling in to say hello and the nurse informed her I thought my water broke (to which I thought to myself that I KNEW my water broke) and my O.B.'s face said she didn't believe it.  I felt a tad bit offended being non-verbally being called a exaggerator/liar, but shrugged it off!  We were about to meet our baby and she would soon find out that my water had indeed broke!

I was sat on a hospital bed so my blood could be taken/ivies were put in, baby was monitored, and I could answered some final questions... but in between questions, hard contractions started.  I knew what they were but asked the nurses if they were reading on the monitors and they all said, "YES!"  I couldn't talk through the contractions and they were so painful and oddly in my bladder (yes, bladder contractions... like somebody was stabbing my with a knife all over my bladder, it was terrible!).  When the nurses left, I told Zack that if this baby wasn't going to be a csection, I'd be asking for an epidural because this pain was something awful (with Janni, the labor was slow coming and I didn't feel I needed an epidural until the very end)!

They came and got me around 8:30 and rolled me to the operating room.  Zack was asked to sit in a waiting area while they gave me the spinal and given his scrubs to wear.  The anestesiologist was comforting and gentle when giving me the spinal and another nurse held my hand and comforted me to help me not jump and possibly paralyze myself (scary stuff, huh?). They hung the drape and helped me lie down.

Zack came in and the epidural went to work.  It took 10 minutes to numb me, which really scared me because with Janni, I was numb immediately.  I found out later that planned and emergency csections spinals are night and day different numbing systems.  Once I was completely numb, I began having a hard time catching my breath.  The anestesiologist assured me that I was at 100% with my oxygen and that my lungs muscles were just relaxed but the entire time, I literally felt like I could not get enough air. My O.B. came in with a full-on chamber-style shield mask (I had to google it to be able to explain it), something the the O.B. who did my first csection didn't wear.  I felt a little panicked because it felt like a scene from a murder mystery where the doctor's goal is to steal the patient's organs.  It really freaked me out. But she was encouraging and I was comforted by her before surgery.  She opened me up and immediately shouted and laughed, "HE'S BREECH!" None of us were expecting this because just 3 weeks ago he'd turned into position (I was so grateful that I chosen a csection because he would have been one regardless because he was coming that day on his own and I wouldn't have been brave enough to try a vbac with a breeched baby!). Zack stood by me the whole time, encouraging me.  Once she delivered him, Tru cried immediately and Zack and I looked at each other and got teary-eyed!  Zack, who refused to cut Janni's umbilical cord because it freaked him out, wasn't really given a choice for Tru.  They handed him the scissors and said, "cut here," and Zack cut it.  But yeah, it totally grossed him out and he didn't find the experience something that helped him feel closer to Tru than Janni.

Tru was crying and was placed on my chest as they sewed me up and he calmed down immediately, something that it termed a "gentle csection" that is supposed to help with bonding issues that are common with csection babies that are taken away from the mom for various reasons and it was glorious (I was in full agreeance that if he came out with an issue, then saving his life was more important than me bonding and they were given permission to do whatever was needed to make him the safest and healthiest possible). I overheard the nurse and anestethioligist talking about how beautiful it was to see a baby on its mother's chest, while she was getting sewed up from a csection.

The O.B. came to the front of the drape and told me I was sewed up and that she had to clean up a lot of scar tissue from my first.  She gave me a squeeze on my shoulder and I was rolled away to my recovery room, holding my baby and just experiecing such a feeling of bliss.

God is so Good!

He did have high bilirubin numbers and needed to be monitored until they came down.  He also had an umbilical hernia that, even 6 months later, we're still dealing with (he's nowhere near crawling because he hates being in his tummy due to the hernia), but all really minor things. He wasn't a dream baby, he was super colicky and demanded to sleep on my chest for the first month, but he's our baby and we're just so beyond blessed to have our little man that we'll take him fussy or not!!

We love you, Tru! You are out precious Rainbow!

"After a hurricane comes a rainbow!"- Katy Perry, Firework











Friday, October 21, 2016

Baby Tru, the Screamer: 5 Ways to Ride Out the Season of Screaming!

When Janni was born, she was a complete Dream! She was sweet, mostly content, slept relatively well, was happy to be held by absolutely anybody, and was independent enough to not be a clinger baby.

Tru is a clinger baby. Did ya hear me, Folks!? This baby IS demanding. He simply must be held all. the. times.

Ahhhhhh.

No matter how theological I want to be and say that God hasn't designed Tru wrong and that I know that Tru was designed to grow me, strengthen me, etc., he is still hard.  Sometimes I want to cry (other times I want to throw him out the window! ;-)).

But we prayed for this baby and he is a blessing.

Tru is currently 6 months old today (Happy Half-Birthday, my Screaming Champ!) and he is still very little, so I know that there is a chance that he will grow out of this phase.

If you currently have a screamer and are looking for some tips to help you ride through this season without pulling your hair out, I have discovered 5 tips that really help make my days so much more manageable.


1. Keep To The Nap Schedule As Best As Possible. Janni hardly ever took/takes naps. She's a bit like the Energizer Bunny, the way she keeps going and going and going.  And then she usually crashes at night and then sleeps a solid 10 hours.  But Tru is a napper. This boy needs a forty-five minute nap and then a solid 2 hour nap. I try to keep close to home during those nap times and then if I want to meet up with somebody or run an errand, I either try to have them come over to my house where I can manage ad control his nap times easier or if I absolutely have to leave the house for an errand, I just make sure to run like a racehorse and get back before nap time. I know it sounds terrible to have to stay home all the time, but it's only a season and is much better than the alternative: a crying, screaming, overtire baby. Amiright?


2. Allow Friends to Come Over, Even If Your House Is Messy.  This one kind of goes with the first one.  These times are hard, Girlfriend!  And because of a life threatening emergency and a very difficult pregnancy, I became a hermit and hardly ever socialized outside of church every Sunday. And then Tru was born and I wanted nothing more but to be a hermit even longer.  And you know what happened? I light case a post-partum depression became a terrible case and seeking out friends and humbling myself to my weaknesses really was the beginning of the healing process.  I also have some wonderful friends willing to hold my baby so I can clean or even sweep my house for me.  .  And although I want to feel like I am the Super Woman of my home, in this season, I simply am not and it's not my fault. And that's okay. I am so blessed to have friends in my life that are willing to come along side me and help me through this difficult season.



3. Get Out When You Can. Take a walk around the neighborhood. If you have a baby like mine, who needs to be held all the time, invest in a swaddle or baby carrier.  Many towns have Facebook groups of moms in your area trying to sell baby wraps and other baby things.  Craigslist also may have them. Or run that errand before nap time.  Fresh air is good for you.


 
4. Try Pulling Certain Foods Out Of Your Diet If You're Nursing. Tru has some reflux issues that add to his fussiness.  He also has a bit of eczema. I've been encouraged to pull out known triggers for reflux and eczema, like sugar and dairy, to see if this helps him with his reflux and skin issues. We haven't found the trigger yet but I am working on it.  On top of that, I feel like I am feeling better by not having added sugars in my diet and thus able to handle a fussy baby better.



5. Just Accept That Your Baby Is Probably High Needs. Easier said than done, huh?  Tru is 6 months so the colic theory is out the window.  He obviously may have some food allergies but the odds are likely that he is a high needs baby and just needs more attention than most babies.  And as hard as that is to type (Like, I almost want to throw up-- no I'm not pregnant! Ha!), facing reality really helps me not to resent the really, really hard days!



I hope that helps you!  Babies are precious and even when they make you want to pull your hair out, they're gifts from Heaven!  These struggles really make me appreciate the better days and have a hope that this boy is going to be a fantastic human being!

Let me know if you have any other tips I haven't listed!


Thursday, October 20, 2016

Janni Yaks!



Janni is 3.5 now and has been known to say and do some pretty hilarious things! Here are a few funnies  from the last few months!

Over the summer, Zack, being the fun parent, rigged a water slide from a water hose and a plastic slide in the backyard. He then had it rigged to slide into her kiddie pool. One day, Zack was shirtless and laying in the pool as Janni played. She slid down the slide, jumped on Zack, slapped his chest, and said in a loud voice,
"Your boobies are FANTASTIC!!"
I laughed an ugly laugh that day!!! Zack, on the other hand, didn't know whether to be honored or offended!!

*Me openly nursing Tru shortly after bringing him home from the hospital*
Janni: "Tru is eating Mommy's boobies!"

*Singing a newly learned church song*
Janni: "ZecheeeUssss, you come down from that tree for I'm going to your house today!'
Me: "when did you learn that song?"
Janni: "I wish he could come to our house!"
Me: Jesus?"
Janni: "No, the wee little man!"
Me: *chuckles*

We'd been learning about Joseph in the Bible and jealousy and why his brother's sold him. The picture in the Bible story book depicts Joseph after his colorful coat was taken from him by his brothers. Joseph is being sold without a shirt on.
Janni: *singing* "Jofus was a very good son, he didn't wear a shirt!"

After playing hard and running around with a friend, I was getting Janni into the car.
Janni: "I'm tired, I'm out of enemy!"
Me: "You mean energy?"
Janni: "Yes, energy. I'm out of enemy!"
Me: ...

I'm in the kitchen finishing up breakfast dishes when I see Janni trying to get close to our kitten in order to catch him.  She turns around the corner and I hear,
Janni: "Hey kitty, you're a precious kitty.  You're a precious.  Precious kitty!"
Cat: "meeeeow!"
Janni" *screaming and comes to me to get some sympathy* "he bit me and I just told him he was precious!"
Me: "I'm sorry he bit you, Darling, but you know that if you corner him, he will bite you."
Janni: "But I told him he was precious!"
Me: ...

This kid, making us laugh since 2013!






Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Then A Rainbow Baby Was Born

I always knew I wanted another baby. Although we were and are blessed by Janni, Zack and I both felt our family did not feel complete. You can imagine my devastation when we decided to actively try for a second baby in vain.

I ended up having issues conceiving for nearly a year. And when I did manage to conceive, we had a devastating loss.

But what a surprise when we immediately conceived right after losing a baby!

I knew right away the baby was a boy. The pregnancy was completely different than with Janni!

My due date was the same as with Janni, April 20.

We'd scheduled a second csection. I was a bit sad but believed it was the right choice over trying to have a vbac in Phoenix. My csection was scheduled April 21.

I'll post the birth story soon but until then, meet Tru. It's not his real name but just like his sister, it's part of his middle name.

Baby Boy Tru born April 21, 2016 at 9:12 a.m. He was 8 lbs. 7 oz., 19.25 in. long.

He's not an easy baby but he's such a blessing!!