I only wish this story was that cool... but I regress, homie... it's actually pretty lame but I laughed myself to tears! Maybe you'll laugh too... or slowly back away mouthng, "this lady's loooooco in the cabasa!" That, or you'll think my standard of humor is sub par. Your call, homes!
So, last night, three kids were in bed and I really, really wanted to watch an episode of my current televisional addiction... House (don't judge, you know his narcissistic brilliance makes you want jump through the screen and both hug and smack him over the head with a rolled newspaper... yes, the latter is not Christlike!) I blame Amazon Prime. But I decided to be a responsible adult and knew I needed to clean up the kitchen because Justine needs to have a good start to the second week of school and only cleaning the kitchen was going to do that because a messy kitchen just stresses me out and makes me not be patient or efficient... thus, ruining Justine's good start to her second week. I know, so much power in a pretty mediocre mother!
So I'm cleaning and Zack comes out from putting Teddy to be and because he's my knight in shining armor (aka, I begged him... no shame to the double... I don't care if feminists think I'm weak... I'd been parenting all day and wiping butts and faces and wanted to watch a show but other people wiping butts in faces, darn you House!). Zack is wiping the table (much more pleasant than wiping butts) and says, "that son of ours has been hunting in my home office for cough drops... he found the bag and dumped it into a glass jar and has been helping himself to the cough drops. I found the jar and put it up but he found a way to climb into my chair and onto my desk and grabbed it. He also tried to rip open a bag of chips and has found my stash of snack and now there's no stopping him."
So, at this point, I'm laughing. Hard. Zack is shaking his heads because he has found no humor or amusement in Teddy's ongoing successful thug behavior. And by thug, I mean raid and rob his father's office of controlled contraband in the form of menthol latent medicine and toxic chemical latent junk food (you know it's true homie, why we be playin'?).
See, we bought this house and it has doggy doors that go from the garage to the backyard. Zack's office is part of the garage that's been converted. All 3 kids are currently able to crawl into the garage through the doggy door.
And this is where it gets humorous. Teddy has been doing this but I thought he was going into the garage to love on the kitty who often takes refuge from children and their smothering tortuous ways there! He'd go in and come back out relatively quickly. Then, he'd go to my bedroom (Zack keeps a small handful of cough drops in his nightstand drawer) and come back out with a cough drop in his mouth. I'd roll my eyes with an "I don't care to battle you" eyeroll and we'd move on. He'd repeat this a few times before I'd firmly tell him, "no more cough drops." and lock our bedroom door. Then he'd uncharacteristically obey and not return to the room. I can vaguely remember thinking once that Zack must replenish his cough drop stash daily because I couldn't recall seeing that many cough drops in the drawer. I never once considered that he was getting them from Zack's office. I was an idiot!! Way to pull a quick one on me, you clever little booger!! I'm keeping my eye on you!!
So it's your turn to laugh at my oblivion or roll your eyes at my lame humor. Your call, Homie B (B as in blog reader), yo!
And yes, the kitchen got clean that night! Justine had a great start to her second week of kindergarten! Thank you for the laughter, Teddy!
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